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援引自:What got you here, won’t get you there by Marshall Goldsmith
刚整理好,有兴趣的同学可以翻一下。
Whether you are near the top of the ladder or still have a way to climb, this book serves as an essential guide to help you eliminate your dysfunctions and move to where you want to go.
The 21 habits that hold you back from the top:
1. Winning too much:
The need to win at all costs and in all situations, when it matters, when it doesn’t, and when it’s totally beside the point. If we argue too much, it’s because we want our view to prevail over others (it’s about winning); if we ignore people, again it’s about winning, by making them fade away; if we play favorites, it’s to win over allies and give “our side “an advantage.
2. Adding too much value:
The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
3. Passing judgment
The need to rate others and impose our standards on them. No matter what you privately think of the suggestion, you must keep your thought to yourself, hear the person out, and say “Thank you”.
4. Making destructive comments:
The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty. They are different from comments that add too much value—coz they add nothing but pain!
5. Starting with “No”, ”But” or ”However”:
The overuse if these negative words which secretly say to everyone, “I am right, you are wrong.”
6. Telling the world how smart we are:
The need to show people we are smarter than they think we are. This is another variation on our need to win. We need to win people’s admiration; we need to let them know that we are at least their intellectual equal if not their superior. We need to be the smartest person in the room. We do this unwittingly all day long.
7. Speaking when angry:
Using emotional volatility as a management tool when you get angry, you are usually out of control. It’s hard to lead people when you have lost control, and it’s very hard to predict how people will react to anger. They will shut down as often as they will perk up.
8. Negativity or “Let me explain why that won’t work”:
The need to share our negative thoughts even when we are not asked.
9. Withholding information:
The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.
10. Failing to give proper recognition:
The inability to praise and reward. Recognition is all about closure, it’s the beautiful ribbon wrapped around the jewel box that contains the precious gift of success you and your team have created. When you fail to provide that recognition, you are cheapening the gift.
11. Claiming credit that we don’t deserve:
The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
12. Making excuses:
The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
13. Clinging to the past:
The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past.
14. Playing favorites:
Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
15. Refusing to express regret:
The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we are wrong or recognize how our actions affect others.
16. Not listening:
The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
17. Failing to express gratitude:
The most basic form of bad manners. Gratitude is a skill that we can never display too often. It is not a limited resource, nor is it costly. It is as abundant as air. We breathe it in but forget to exhale. Of all the behavioral challenges we are covering here, this one should be the easiest to conquer. Pick something to be grateful for.
18. Punishing the messenger:
The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
19. Passing the buck:
The need to blame everyone but ourselves. Blaming others for our mistakes.
20. An excessive need to be “me”:
Exalting our faults as virtues simply coz they are who we are.
21. Goal obsession:
By itself, goal obsession is not a flaw. But it is often the root cause of the annoying behavior. Goal obsession turns us into someone we should not be. The solution is simple but not easy. You have to step back, take a breath and look. And survey the conditions that are making you obsessed with the wrong goal.
Ask yourself, Am I achieving a task – and forgetting my organization’s mission?
Ask yourself, Am I making money to support my family—and forgetting the family that I am trying to support? |
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